Look not where I was, for I am not there,
my spirit is free, I am everywhere
In the air that you breathe, In the sounds that you hear,
please don't cry fo me now, my spirit is near
I'll watch for you from the other side,
I'll be the one running, new friends at my side
Smile at my memory, remember me in your heart,
this isn't the end at all, Its a brand new start
The death of a pet or when a pet goes missing, can be a most distressing and upsetting time not only for the owner and their family but also, other companion animals.
Having been involved with animals for so many years, I have experienced more pet deaths than the average owner and it never gets any easier! A few years ago now, I had the opportunity to do a Pet Bereavement Counselling course which I found most interesting and it helped me to come to terms with a few very sad losses I had experienced in recent years. You never forget your pets but you have to learn how to move on and remember them with a smile rather than tears.
I had never really considered the many implications of pet death which are very similar to those when a person dies. However, many owners are often surprised at the intense level of grief they feel when a pet dies and this is because it often triggers other experiences and feelings.
Death is a subject rarely discussed in our modern world it remains a taboo subject although it is a fact of life - we are all born to die, including our beloved pets.
Being prepared for a pet death can help at a time when very difficult decisions may have to be made in haste at the vets. Knowing what to expect if a pet has to be euthanased (put to sleep), whether to stay with your pet at this time - not everyone can, do you want your pet buried or cremated, and so on. So much to think about and consider. We all hope our pets have long and happy lives but a little forward planning can be beneficial. Also, if you have children, the death of a pet can be the youngsters first experience of death and how it is handled can effect them for a long time to come.
Other household or companion animals can grieve the loss of a companion animal (you may have litter mates - brothers/sisters) or indeed their owner. When owners battle against sever illness this can also effect their pets - I have seen this for myself on more than one occasion. Animals have a sixth sense, they know when things aren't right, just like when they know you are going on holiday before you get the cases out!
Similar to when a person dies, there are various stages to the grieving process and each individual takes different periods of time to move through the stages. The worst thing is when a person gets stuck at a certain stage and are unable to move on. This can happen when they have difficulty accepting the death, perhaps they are trying to blame themselves or indeed, their veterinary practice. Talking to a bereavement counsellor can help greatly and do not be ashamed to cry and show your feelings. Bottling up emotions can be bad for you - I know this from personal experience.
As mentioned above, I am qualified and insured as a Pet Bereavement Counsellor and will help you if I can. If you are local to my area I can offer personal consultations or if you are further afield I will try to help via email or telephone if requested.
Link to Pet Bereavement article which may be of help
This is a tip that works. If you have a pair of cats and one dies, try getting a teddy bear as a comforter for the other cat. An elderly lady phoned me a few months back asking for advice following the death of one of her cats. Due to her age she did not want to get a young cat and felt that an older animal might cause problems which is true - getting another pet is not always the ideal answer. Anyway, I suggested that she might try getting a teddy bear for her remaining cat. She laughed at first and then said that I was the second person to suggest that, the first had been a friend who she thought was joking but as I had said it, perhaps there was something in it. I suggested that she went to a charity shop or somewhere similar but to make sure the bear had safety eyes and suitable stuffing, etc.
A few days later I received a phone call from a very delighted lady, informing me that she had been to the local Teddy Bear shop (expensive, collectable bears) she had selected the one she thought most suitable and her cat was delighted, he had stopped looking for his companion, he had stopped wandering off, he had started to eat properly again and as she spoke, he was curled up with his new friend on the sofa sleeping peacefully.
Another client had a similar experience last year when one of her two burmese had to be put-to-sleep and she bought a bear from a pet shop that could be heated gently in the microwave and her cat loves it new warm companion!
Something else that helps animals and human alike at times of great stress and shock is the Bach Flower Rescue Remedy. Being totally natural it will do no harm at all providing the dosage is administered correctly, just put 2 drops into the animals water bowl each day, it is as simple as that. Bach Flower Remedies can be purchased at most good natural health food shops and chemists.
There are a wide range of Bach Flower Remedies available covering a variety of conditions. Again, all are suitable for both people and animals, being totally natural they can do no harm when administered correctly. Please let me know if you would like any further information.
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